Speaking Up for Dignity

What I was when I was FLDS Mormon, and what I am now.

by Leona Bateman.

What I was when I was FLDS Mormon.

What I am now and what I have become since I walked away.
I was happy being in my little world because I did not realize what I was missing. I was basically told that I was one of the chosen ones and I was self righteous and thought I was better than other people. Please forgive me for that. I am happy now and i am enjoying a bigger view and perspective of things, but with that brings a lot more responsibility and drama in your life. When I was a FLDS I guess my biggest concern was basically being saved. So my days were spent having babies, teaching children, keeping my house perfect and growing roses and pleasing my man. Basically letting him take responsibility for everything in my life. I didn’t dream except for the things that I was told to dream about. Today I do not keep my house as clean and I have just a little bit of time to grow roses because I am out exploring anything and everything that I possibly can. I am enjoying new views new people and a new lifestyle. I am enjoying family that I could not see people and places that I could not go to. I am enjoying my own opinions, debating and taking responsibility for it.

Today I dream, I want, I desire, I feel, I love who I choose, not who I’m told to. It just feels fantastic!

I make mistakes and I have to take responsibility for them instead of letting my husband do that. I was just submissive and basically the men make most of the decisions.
I always had a hard time with that. Haha

leona-bateman-fldsJust a few of the things that I couldn’t or shouldn’t do when I was FLDS.

I couldn’t watch TV.
Go to movies.
Socialize too much or wear red.
Discouraged to eat white sugar.
I couldn’t wear jewelry or makeup.
We couldn’t cut our hair.
We had to keep it combed and up.
The men had to have short hair
long sleeves.
We had to wear homemade Zions dresses.
Long underwear – and so did the men.
We were discouraged to socialize.
We couldn’t go on vacations.
We had to turn all excess money in to the church.
We had to get up at 5 a.m. every morning.
Every Monday morning we had to go to church for class besides Sunday church.
Everyday we were required to read to our children twice a day. We were also required to have prayer every hour with a little children.
We were discouraged to eat sugar.
We had to keep sweet even when we were mad.
The women were subservient to men.
The men were subservient to priesthood, the church.
We couldn’t watch or read the news.
We couldn’t have worldly friendships.
We couldn’t associate with our family or friends if they were apostates and left the church.
We taught our children homeschooling all day.
Most of the women did not work outside of the home.

We were not allowed to use any kind of birth control and if you become pregnant or with child as they called it, the man was not allowed to touch you for a full year at that time.
We were required to call our husband’s father and our kids children.
We were required to call our husband’s father and our kids children.
Most men were required to have 2 or more wife’s, given to them, even if they didn’t want them.
Absolutely no dating and placement married was required.
Perfect obedience to all the rules were everyone’s goal.
If they did not learn and overcome their weaknesses, they were threatened eternal death.
Very few were able to go out and get an education and only by permission of the church Authorities.
When you know better you definitely do better.

What I am now that I left.

I take responsibility for my own feelings and actions.
I love more.
I bless more.
I have my own opinions and views and I am not ashamed of them.
I respect yours.
I love more, when I do it is with my own intent and not because I am told to.
I do not think that I will be saved and you will be damned.
I do not judge people as much.
I am a better person today.

Most of the time I do what I want to.
I am not influenced by others very easily.
I have learned to love my own opinions , but that is a hard one to overcome.
I love to travel
I love to wear makeup.
I love to dress up.
I love to shop.
I love big jewelry.
I love people.
I love to socialize.
I love to read.
I love education.
I love to explore.
I am curious about everything.
I enjoy people very much. Especially new people and new ideas. I just love my life now. It is not easy because of so many changes so fast , but it has been all worth it. I believe that I am a good person and I follow my own heart. When I was FLDS I never thought I was good enough and I was always under pressure.

Today I follow my own heart and I know I’m good enough.
Today I can and I will.

This entry was posted onMonday, September 7th, 2015 at 11:24 am and is filed under Blog, Empowerment, Patriarchal Polygamy, Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.


  1. Rebecca M.

    This is wonderful! I’m so happy that you are excited about exploring all of the possibilities! Life has become so much more joyful and wonderful since leaving the mainstream LDS church!

  2. Thank you for sharing! Best wishes for a continued salubrious journey to healing, wholeness and wellness.

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